grendel
11-10-2005, 08:22 PM
The E-pene
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The E-pene
by Jauhn & Branden Johnson
September 09, 2005
WARNING: InsaneIndustry, the makers of the e-penis enlargement brochure, are NOT responsible for any injuries due to MASSIVE e-penes, and will not be held responsible for the actions committed after reading this brochure.
Does having a small internet penis, or even none at all have you down? Internet penis, commonly referred to as e-penis, or e-peen, is the act of emotional investment in an online forum or message board to increase ones stature in the online community. If you are one of the many Americans who suffers from a lack of online respect, well, this informal online brochure is your guide to success. There is nothing more important than the serious business of having a ginormous internet penis. Since using our system, our clients have reported improvements in all areas of their online lives.
Some of the benefits proven by using our system:
Permanent online penis enlargement - Guaranteed beneficial internet penis enlargement.
Improved confidence - less embarrassment, enjoy posting the first time.
End to premature editing - stay confident for as long as you want.
Increased post whore production - a larger load of spam every time you log on.
You may be asking yourself a few questions. Perhaps you have a small internet penis, is there a way to increase the size of it? Yes, of course, following our quick easy steps will guarantee you results. Will a larger internet penis give you more self esteem? Of course it will, infact, you will become the biggest, baddest motherf--ker of all time. Can you have too large of an internet penis? No. Infact, if you think your internet penis is already too large, it's too small.
Can a woman have an internet penis too? Yes, of course. There is nothing that strikes greater fear in a man than a woman with a penis. A woman's best friend is a penis, and a woman's girlfriend's best friend is also a penis. Now when her husband is on a "business vacation" to cheat her with a 13 year old boy in Thailand, she can receive the pleasure from her friend's internet penis. (Note: The author of this brochure may request pictures for information purposes only to verify correct use of internet penis.)
Does the InsaneIndustry treatment really work? Our treatment is the first internet proven, online tested e-peen enlargement treatment that works. Numerous studies have been conducted with misleading results, but our scientific online research presented in Virtual Valarie and Electrotechnoartifical Education Congress of February 2004 by Dr. Mhass E. Caulk „ 1999 Andrology Services, Andromedical Clinic, San Francisco, California (US.) yields an accurate beneficial increment of the online penis advertised by our e-peen treatment. Our clinical testing used 37 patients from the greater California area, including 31 men, 4 women, and a goat. Our selection of patients included were healthy men and women with normal online capabilities. The Traction device used was our e-peen treatment, used in a force of 341KB a day, for 1mo. The average increase of Internet Penis size by month is 3.1663 Megabytes. The Standard deviation is of 2.9604MB. The Confidential interval of 95% is of [0.4283 ; 0.5169] which indicates a maximum gain of size of 1.3216MB/month.
The following steps will help you enlarge your internet penis.
Grammar: Your best friend, and the enemy of most posters is to comment and attack someones unfortunate grammar. While this may seem rude, infact, you're doing the poster a favor by letting him know the intelligence of his post is neglected due to his inability to conjugate a sentence correctly.
Whoring: There is no better way to demonstrate how serious you are online besides post whoring. However, if ever accused of whoring, refer to cheap insults and comebacks.
Language: Using little known slang and "l33t" talk as well as excessive abbreviations such as "omg" and "lol" are a sure step towards enlarging your e-peen.
Cheap Insults and Comebacks: Cheap Insults and Comebacks: Cheap insults and un-witty comebacks often involving vulgar unnecessary language are a great way to enlarge your e-penis. Insults involving the posters family, gender, race, physical appearance, and any other prominent attributes are a surefire way to incite rage and make leaping strides towards increasing ones e-peen.
Trolling: Trolling is the act of starting threads which are extremely controversial at a particular forum for your viewing pleasures. They are especially useful when the poster claims to be an expert in sed field, and has points which are completely contrary to the majority of forum members beliefs. Trolling is used to ignite responses from the community and is a great prefix to Excessive Arguing.
Alter-egos: Consistently lying about ones profession, experiences, academic records as to seem more impressive to others
Excessive Arguing: The usage of excessive emotional and egotistical forms of online argumentative combat. The tendency to continue to repeatly argue a subject after losing a debate.
Still don't believe it's just that easy? Don't take our word, listen to what our customers have had to say!
"After much emotional distress and premature posting, I read your online brochure about your miracle e-peen treatment, now my e-peen is fuxxin huge, now I am hella l33t, and I'm bouts to get paid! thanks InsaneIndustry.- UCBeau"
"I'm living proof that the InsaneIndustry e-peen treatment works for women, my e-penis is over 3x the size it was before I read this brochure and I feel like a new person.- ryanrule"
"I could not believe what this online treatment has done for my self esteem, I never could have thought myself, a woman of having a penis, and now there is no guys giving me an online punking, I'm giving it hard to them!- DuckyBubbles05"
We guarantee our online treatment, however, if you are the small percentage of participants who are unable to achieve a massive e-penis from this online treatment, please don't hesitate, give us a call and we will arrange an impersonal internet penis trainer. Fully licensed experts are waiting to extend their gratitude in the online personal training you seek. We wish you the greatest luck in your new found internet penis, you will be in the limelight of all your friends, drenched in jealousy of your new found abilities of the internet penis.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The E-pene
by Jauhn & Branden Johnson
September 09, 2005
WARNING: InsaneIndustry, the makers of the e-penis enlargement brochure, are NOT responsible for any injuries due to MASSIVE e-penes, and will not be held responsible for the actions committed after reading this brochure.
Does having a small internet penis, or even none at all have you down? Internet penis, commonly referred to as e-penis, or e-peen, is the act of emotional investment in an online forum or message board to increase ones stature in the online community. If you are one of the many Americans who suffers from a lack of online respect, well, this informal online brochure is your guide to success. There is nothing more important than the serious business of having a ginormous internet penis. Since using our system, our clients have reported improvements in all areas of their online lives.
Some of the benefits proven by using our system:
Permanent online penis enlargement - Guaranteed beneficial internet penis enlargement.
Improved confidence - less embarrassment, enjoy posting the first time.
End to premature editing - stay confident for as long as you want.
Increased post whore production - a larger load of spam every time you log on.
You may be asking yourself a few questions. Perhaps you have a small internet penis, is there a way to increase the size of it? Yes, of course, following our quick easy steps will guarantee you results. Will a larger internet penis give you more self esteem? Of course it will, infact, you will become the biggest, baddest motherf--ker of all time. Can you have too large of an internet penis? No. Infact, if you think your internet penis is already too large, it's too small.
Can a woman have an internet penis too? Yes, of course. There is nothing that strikes greater fear in a man than a woman with a penis. A woman's best friend is a penis, and a woman's girlfriend's best friend is also a penis. Now when her husband is on a "business vacation" to cheat her with a 13 year old boy in Thailand, she can receive the pleasure from her friend's internet penis. (Note: The author of this brochure may request pictures for information purposes only to verify correct use of internet penis.)
Does the InsaneIndustry treatment really work? Our treatment is the first internet proven, online tested e-peen enlargement treatment that works. Numerous studies have been conducted with misleading results, but our scientific online research presented in Virtual Valarie and Electrotechnoartifical Education Congress of February 2004 by Dr. Mhass E. Caulk „ 1999 Andrology Services, Andromedical Clinic, San Francisco, California (US.) yields an accurate beneficial increment of the online penis advertised by our e-peen treatment. Our clinical testing used 37 patients from the greater California area, including 31 men, 4 women, and a goat. Our selection of patients included were healthy men and women with normal online capabilities. The Traction device used was our e-peen treatment, used in a force of 341KB a day, for 1mo. The average increase of Internet Penis size by month is 3.1663 Megabytes. The Standard deviation is of 2.9604MB. The Confidential interval of 95% is of [0.4283 ; 0.5169] which indicates a maximum gain of size of 1.3216MB/month.
The following steps will help you enlarge your internet penis.
Grammar: Your best friend, and the enemy of most posters is to comment and attack someones unfortunate grammar. While this may seem rude, infact, you're doing the poster a favor by letting him know the intelligence of his post is neglected due to his inability to conjugate a sentence correctly.
Whoring: There is no better way to demonstrate how serious you are online besides post whoring. However, if ever accused of whoring, refer to cheap insults and comebacks.
Language: Using little known slang and "l33t" talk as well as excessive abbreviations such as "omg" and "lol" are a sure step towards enlarging your e-peen.
Cheap Insults and Comebacks: Cheap Insults and Comebacks: Cheap insults and un-witty comebacks often involving vulgar unnecessary language are a great way to enlarge your e-penis. Insults involving the posters family, gender, race, physical appearance, and any other prominent attributes are a surefire way to incite rage and make leaping strides towards increasing ones e-peen.
Trolling: Trolling is the act of starting threads which are extremely controversial at a particular forum for your viewing pleasures. They are especially useful when the poster claims to be an expert in sed field, and has points which are completely contrary to the majority of forum members beliefs. Trolling is used to ignite responses from the community and is a great prefix to Excessive Arguing.
Alter-egos: Consistently lying about ones profession, experiences, academic records as to seem more impressive to others
Excessive Arguing: The usage of excessive emotional and egotistical forms of online argumentative combat. The tendency to continue to repeatly argue a subject after losing a debate.
Still don't believe it's just that easy? Don't take our word, listen to what our customers have had to say!
"After much emotional distress and premature posting, I read your online brochure about your miracle e-peen treatment, now my e-peen is fuxxin huge, now I am hella l33t, and I'm bouts to get paid! thanks InsaneIndustry.- UCBeau"
"I'm living proof that the InsaneIndustry e-peen treatment works for women, my e-penis is over 3x the size it was before I read this brochure and I feel like a new person.- ryanrule"
"I could not believe what this online treatment has done for my self esteem, I never could have thought myself, a woman of having a penis, and now there is no guys giving me an online punking, I'm giving it hard to them!- DuckyBubbles05"
We guarantee our online treatment, however, if you are the small percentage of participants who are unable to achieve a massive e-penis from this online treatment, please don't hesitate, give us a call and we will arrange an impersonal internet penis trainer. Fully licensed experts are waiting to extend their gratitude in the online personal training you seek. We wish you the greatest luck in your new found internet penis, you will be in the limelight of all your friends, drenched in jealousy of your new found abilities of the internet penis.