95civicgsr
11-14-2005, 01:11 PM
haha thought this was funny
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get
married and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted". The next day
she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can
have mine."
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let
her keep him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."
A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens
in every country, son."
Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was
until I got married, and by then, it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say -- talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.
First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" Second guy remarks, "You're lucky.
Mine's still alive."
A Woman's Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man, to love and to forgive
him, and for Patience, for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for
Strength, I'll just beat him to death.
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get
married and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted". The next day
she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can
have mine."
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let
her keep him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."
A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens
in every country, son."
Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was
until I got married, and by then, it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say -- talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.
First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" Second guy remarks, "You're lucky.
Mine's still alive."
A Woman's Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man, to love and to forgive
him, and for Patience, for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for
Strength, I'll just beat him to death.